PINK JESUS
Has cannabis ever made you feel too anxious or paranoid? Have you lost faith that you’ll feel the tranquil relaxation or giggly euphoria you fondly remember from years past? Have you decided there is no way you’d ever risk smoking in public again because you’re worried about “freaking out” in front of your friends?
Written By: JAKE KUCZERUK
Fear not! Pink Jesus is the savior we’ve hoped for. In all my decades of smoking cannabis, I’ve never had a strain leave such a strong impression. Euphoria, giggling, and connectivity merge with a deep sense of joy. Are you ready to find religion?
MAY THE PINK BE WITH YOU
I first met Mike and Shauna Harden along with Joyce Cenali, the founders of Sonoma Hills Farm, a decade ago when they helmed a San Francisco investment and consulting firm defined by its obsession with craft. While this team clearly knew how to operate successful businesses, it wasn’t until Chef Aaron Keefer entered the equation that Sonoma Hills Farm became the force it is today.
Are you familiar with Chef Thomas Keller? Of course you are! You’ve either heard of award-winning The French Laundry restaurant in Napa Valley, which boasts an impressive three Michelin stars, or, at the very least, have seen the episode of The Bear where Keller has cameos. How seriously do you think his restaurant empire takes its ingredient supply chain? The short answer: very. Aaron Keefer, a true master of quality food and beverage, was the man behind that critical responsibility.
OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO
I love the fact that the very same guy who sourced the oysters and truffles for the finest restaurants in the nation has cultivated the strain I’m twisting up. While Sonoma Hills Farm is actively working with a half dozen or so game-changing strains at any given time, none have spawned the same sort of cult following that Pink Jesus has garnered. I mean, just take one look at this plant. It looks like something out of a Dr. Seuss book. She is a kaleidoscope of vibrant hues, including violet, purple, and magenta that look like they’ve been passed through an Instagram filter. How did it earn its signature name? As breeder Sam Magruder was showing off his creation to the rest of the team, there was a voice in the room, “Jesus! It’s Pink!”
It is a profile specifically engineered "to spark joy and euphoria, extinguish anxiety, and encourage all the stress to leave your body."
- Aaron Keefer
THE ANXIETY BUSTER
This sativa-dominant hybrid, a cross of Pink 2.0 x Starfighter x Heirloom OG, typically sits at between 18-25% THC, but don’t let the numbers fool you—it’ll hold up against the Pepsi Challenge with any 35%+ strains in your collection. You see, THC percentage is not the only indicator of the strength of a strain. Some of the most potent highs are delivered by 15%-THC flower, specifically old-school strains that were chock-full of unique minor cannabinoids with distinctive terpene profiles. To be sure, cannabis is complex, but that is part of the draw.
There are a myriad of cannabinoids found in your flower besides THC, such as CBD, CBG, THC-V, and CBN. Each of our bodies’ endocannabinoid systems has receptors that allow us to experience a high in unique ways. For example, CBN has been working wonders for inducing a restful sleep. THC-V is heralded for its ability to boost energy levels without any sort of speedy anxiety. It’s also been found to serve as a natural appetite suppressant (eat your heart out, Ozempic!). Myrcene is the most abundant terpene you’re likely to encounter. Found in both cannabis and hops, it can combat pain and inflammation, relaxing the muscles and bringing a sense of potent sedation.
Aaron Keefer is very much aware of all of this. It’s why you’ll find roughly 3-6% of these minor cannabinoids in your Pink Jesus and a more nuanced terpene profile than you’re likely to find anywhere else. It is a profile specifically engineered “to spark joy and euphoria, extinguish anxiety, and encourage all the stress to melt away from your body.”
ALMOST FAMOUS
Pink Jesus is a whirlwind whimsy of berry and lavender notes—but that's only scratching the surface. The impact of the distinctive, earthy woodiness reminds me of those Pinewood Derby car kits. It smells like the best backyard homegrown you’ve ever had. A little bitter, a little sour, with a touch of soap and spearmint. Once lit, you can still detect herbaceous notes of rosewater and root beer. All this botanical flirtiness has garnered the strain its own set of “Pink groupies.”
It doesn’t hurt that Pink Jesus is grown outdoors to help maximize these sungrown flavors. Without fail, you can rest assured that Sonoma Hills Farm’s handiwork is as clean, organic, and chemical-free as anything else on the market, as nature—or God?— has intended. Pink Jesus is available as a single pre-roll, a 4-pack of pre-rolls, an eighth jar of flower, or by the half-ounce. What surprises most is how affordable it is, clocking in at just $30 per eighth or $25 for that pre-roll pack.
“Ultimately, Pink Jesus is more than a strain—it’s an experience,” said Mike Harden, Sonoma Hills Farm CEO. “Her unmistakable look, unforgettable name, and uplifting effects create a sense of connection, not only with the flower itself but with the people you share her with. That’s why she’s so special—she’s not a product; she’s a moment, a memory, and a little bit of magic.”
PINK DISCIPLES
For those with higher tolerances, I still suggest tasting the original Pink Jesus on its own—but you’ll be pleased to learn that they’ve recently released a hand-rolled Hash Hole made with 1.5g of flower and 0.5g of cold-cure, assisted by the wizards over at Fire King Hash. If you’re more into edibles, Big Pete’s Treats has a limited-edition 1000mg jar of Pink Jesus canna-butter and Kiva has worked it into their Lost Farm live resin chews. There even exists a rare Humphry Slocombe ice cream collaboration, which is just as delicious as it sounds. For those trying to recalibrate their alcohol consumption, you can find Pink Jesus being used by Maison Bloom in their low-dose infused beverages. And renowned fragrance house Nineteen Sixty Nine is releasing a Pink Jesus perfume and candle.
So I’ll ask again: Are you ready to find religion?
DID YOU KNOW?
Sonoma Hills Farm champions certifications like they’re the Ten Commandments, so rest assured and enjoy.
FINDING PINK JESUS
Cornerstone, 2551 Colorado Boulevard Los Angeles, CA 90041 CornerstoneCollective.com
Project Cannabis NoHo, 10842 Magnolia Boulevard North Hollywood, CA 91601 ProjCan.com
Rise Pasadena, 908 E Colorado Boulevard Pasadena, CA 91106 RiseCannabis.com
The Green Qween, 1051 S Broadway Los Angeles, CA 90015 TheGreenQween.com
The Woods, 8271 Santa Monica Boulevard West Hollywood, CA 90046 TheWoodsWeho.com
ERBA Pico, 12320 W Pico Boulevard Los Angeles, CA 90064 ErbaMarkets.com
ERBA Culver City, 9021 Exposition Boulevard Los Angeles, CA 90034 ErbaLa.com
ERBA Venice, 4200 Lincoln Boulevard Marina Del Rey, CA 90292 ErbaLa.com
PleasureMed, 7715 Santa Monica Boulevard West Hollywood, CA 90046 PleasureMed.com
Harvest Santa Monica, 1418 Wilshire Boulevard Santa Monica, CA 90403 HarvestOfSantaMonica.com
